Well, I've debated about what to blog about...nothing really exciting is happening here. That's okay, the ordinary, every day life is exciting to us and we are quite happy with it. I'm getting ready to leave for India tomorrow. It's a bitter sweet feeling. Of course, I'll miss my family and friends, but I'll have the company of a few other friends and the blessing of sharing Christ with tens of thousands of people. As I was reading my Bible this morning, in my feeble attempt to spend time with God while kids are playing and the TV is blaring Dora, I was reading in Matthew chapter 8 about the two men who were willing to follow Jesus, but not understanding the cost of which to do so. In verse 18, a teacher of the law tells Jesus that he will follow him wherever he goes. You wouldn't think that anything is wrong with that and it's not. But, Jesus' answer implies that the man was probably a little to hasty in his decision, without properly understanding that this wouldn't be an easy task. Jesus replies, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." Next, another follower of Christ said to Jesus, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father." But Jesus told him, "Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead." This comment has perplexed me time and time again. What's really wrong with wanting to give your dead parent a proper burial? Is there really something wrong with that? No, there isn't. But, the problem is that it wasn't the right time. I looked up this verse in Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary of the Bible and he states ever so beautifully,
"This seemed reasonable, yet it was not right. He had not true zeal for the work. Burying the dead, especially a dead father, is a good work, but it is not thy work at this time. If Christ requires our service, affection even for the nearest and dearest relatives, and for things otherwise our duty, must give way."So, that's why I go to India. People have wondered and asked me before, "Why do you go to India? It must be so hard to leave your family, especially having small children."
Believe me, it is.
I can't tell you how many moments that I'm on the verge of tears, feeling guilty about leaving my family. But, you know what, this is what God has called me to do... right here, right now. It's not convenient, it's not fun, it's not pretty, it's not comfortable, it's not gratifying, it's not my will. But, no matter the reason, no matter the cost, I will go. I'm not trying to sound righteous because I certainly don't feel that I am. Actually, I feel the least qualified, the least equipped, the least ready, the least... the least... the least... everything. But in my weakness, He will be glorified. In my weakness, He makes me strong. In my weakness, only He can do it. In my weakness, others will hear about his saving grace.
1 Corinthians 12: 9-10
But he said to me, "
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.