Weakness

Well, I've debated about what to blog about...nothing really exciting is happening here. That's okay, the ordinary, every day life is exciting to us and we are quite happy with it. I'm getting ready to leave for India tomorrow. It's a bitter sweet feeling. Of course, I'll miss my family and friends, but I'll have the company of a few other friends and the blessing of sharing Christ with tens of thousands of people. As I was reading my Bible this morning, in my feeble attempt to spend time with God while kids are playing and the TV is blaring Dora, I was reading in Matthew chapter 8 about the two men who were willing to follow Jesus, but not understanding the cost of which to do so. In verse 18, a teacher of the law tells Jesus that he will follow him wherever he goes. You wouldn't think that anything is wrong with that and it's not. But, Jesus' answer implies that the man was probably a little to hasty in his decision, without properly understanding that this wouldn't be an easy task. Jesus replies, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." Next, another follower of Christ said to Jesus, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father." But Jesus told him, "Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead." This comment has perplexed me time and time again. What's really wrong with wanting to give your dead parent a proper burial? Is there really something wrong with that? No, there isn't. But, the problem is that it wasn't the right time. I looked up this verse in Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary of the Bible and he states ever so beautifully,

"This seemed reasonable, yet it was not right. He had not true zeal for the work. Burying the dead, especially a dead father, is a good work, but it is not thy work at this time. If Christ requires our service, affection even for the nearest and dearest relatives, and for things otherwise our duty, must give way."

So, that's why I go to India. People have wondered and asked me before, "Why do you go to India? It must be so hard to leave your family, especially having small children."

Believe me, it is.

I can't tell you how many moments that I'm on the verge of tears, feeling guilty about leaving my family. But, you know what, this is what God has called me to do... right here, right now. It's not convenient, it's not fun, it's not pretty, it's not comfortable, it's not gratifying, it's not my will. But, no matter the reason, no matter the cost, I will go. I'm not trying to sound righteous because I certainly don't feel that I am. Actually, I feel the least qualified, the least equipped, the least ready, the least... the least... the least... everything. But in my weakness, He will be glorified. In my weakness, He makes me strong. In my weakness, only He can do it. In my weakness, others will hear about his saving grace.

1 Corinthians 12: 9-10
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Thursday and Friday, The Peachtree Road Race

Chris and I before the race

Me running - probably around mile 4.

Almost finished! These are the cameramen taking pictures at the end of mile 6.

Chris and I had a blast running the Peachtree this last Friday. First, we went down on Thursday night to the Peachtree Roadrace Expo and walked around for a while. We then went to a nice dinner and stayed in a hotel just down the street from the start of the race. It worked out really well because we woke up Friday morning, ate breakfast and literally walked about 2 blocks to the start of the race. We had to wait about an hour before our heat was allowed to start running. They stagger the heats so that everyone doesn't end up trampling each other. We were in heat 7, so it took a while to get to us. But, that was fine because it gave us time to get our nerves out and go potty. Chris and I ran the first three miles together. The idea was for us to stay together the whole time, but Chris starting getting leg cramps at mile 4 so he said it was okay for me to go on. He caught up with me and we finished the race about a minute apart. There were water stations at every mile marker, people cheering us on and a few bands playing. We really did have a great time and will probably do it again next year. And, yes, we got the coveted t-shirts!

Nesting

I'm not pregnant, I assure you, but you would think I am if you came to my house. I've been nesting lately - pretty badly! I want my house clean and for everything to be put in it's proper place. We've also painted and re-done Gavin's room and are now in the process of painting and putting up some new decorations in Ivey's room. Morgan's room is next on the list, but will probably have to wait until I get back from India. I still have more things that I want to do to the house, bookshelves to put up and such, but I'll stretch it out over time. I don't really know why I'm in this weird mode and I'm sure Chris would love for me to get out of it as soon as possible since he does most of the painting after I tape and trim. Oh, well! I'll post pictures of Ivey and Gavin's new rooms as soon as they're finished.

One more day til Peachtree 10K... oh, no!

New favorite thing

My neighbor introduced me to http://www.etsy.com/. Some of you may already know about it, but it as officially become my new favorite thing. The difference between etsy and ebay is that everything sold on etsy is handmade. Everything! My new fascination is with vinyl decals. I have now bought a handful of things. One of them is the family of birds that you see above. I put it above the doorframe in the kitchen. And, since I've decided to start collecting birdhouses to decorate above the cabinets, the birds are the perfect touch! So cute and unique! I've also bought an "S", Gavin's name, some ladybugs and a saying for Ivey's room and something for Morgan's room. It arrives on transfer paper and you rub the decal onto the wall. It looks like it's painted on, yet it comes off when you're ready for a change!! Really cool! I thought I would just share it with you. They have some really awesome things. Just go to the website and search for vinyl decals (add more detail as you like) and you can see all the unique things to decorate your home!

P.S. Shannon, don't buy anything until after your birthday! ;-)

I'm back from Deeper Still

This was Philips Arena Friday night and Saturday. 19,000 women joining together to hear these phenomenal speakers and to worship our Savior

Kay Arthur, Priscilla Shirer, Beth Moore

The Deeper Still women's conference at Philips Arena this weekend was amazing!! God has gifted Kay Arthur, Beth Moore and Priscilla Shirer with such amazing abilities to teach the word of God and to write bible studies and books that we all want to read. They are hysterically funny, articulate and have an uncanny ability to teach scripture. But, they were the first to say that we (as Christians) shouldn't look to them for some sort of spiritual insight, bible knowledge or word from God that, for some reason, we think we can't get for ourselves. They were the first to say that we should go directly to the Bible ourselves to hear from God and to understand his truth. God is available to each of us just the same as he is to them. It's so important for them to make that point clear in an audience of 19,000 women because bible teachers can become idols or gods in our lives without us even realizing it. We must spend time on our own alone with God, digging deeper into the Word of God and praying for discernment and wisdom. Priscilla Shirer said something this weekend that really struck a chord with me. I wrote it down and will probably always remember it. She said, "Discernment is not knowing the difference between right and wrong. Discernment is knowing the difference between right and almost right. See, this is the thing... Satan knows scripture, too. But he uses it out of context and in ways that confuse us. We think, "Well, this book has scripture in it or this person is quoting scripture, so it must be okay." Not so! Does the book or the person's statements line up with biblical truth? Are they consistent with God's character? And, how else would we know other than to study the Bible and know it for ourselves. That's the difference. So, anyway, it was an absolutely awesome weekend! I'm so glad I was able to go! It was such a time of revival in my life at just the right time. It was a time of remembering what God has done in me and through me and for me, and thanking him and praising him for that. And, not only praising God the Father, but praising and worshiping his Son, Jesus Christ, God in the flesh. Jesus is the one and only way and he is MY One and Only.

2 more weeks

So, I guess I was trying not to think about it... but, my pastor emailed me today to make sure my passport and visa is up to date. I leave for India very soon (I don't want to post the exact dates for security reasons). The sharing of our faith is not against the law in India, but it is strongly discouraged among some of the militant Muslim groups there. Also, since we will be farther north this year, we will probably be facing a little bit more resistence than I've seen on past trips. I have to say that I'm not as nervous as I have been the last two times I went. Part of that is due to the fact that I don't have the fear of the unknown anymore and because my precious little ones are big enough to actually talk to me on the phone while I'm away. Also, I trust my pastor with my life and know that he would do everything in his power to protect me if that's what it came down to. Last year, I made Chris video tape me reading books to the kids so they could watch the movie at night and remember what I looked like. Crazy, I know! But, the thought of "What if I don't make it back?" is always in the back of my mind. I'm trying very hard not to let Satan discourage me or scare me with the "What-ifs." We have a very reliable young lady coming to stay with the kids during the day while Chris is at work, not to mention all the help from great friends and family. Everything will be OK.

So what exactly will I be doing in India? Our team will meet up with a team from Dallas, TX in the Frankfurt, Germany airport. From there we will all travel to India to meet up with a group of Indian bible teachers, missionaries and college students. We will divide into three teams once we reach our destination. Each team will have a set schedule for the week with about 3-4 schools to visit each day. While in the schools, we will do a drama, sing and give a short presentation of the Truth. Three to four schools may not sound like a lot, but there aren't schools on every other street corner, so sometimes a bit of travelling is involved. Please pray for us and for our families while we are away. There will be a total of 9 Americans on the trip and we would all like to make it safely back home. Thanks!

Wow... of all my friends and family who are Christians and no one wants to share their testimony... who's going to be the salt and the light?

Cardboard Testimonies

My friend, Paula, sent me this link to one of the most awesome video clips on YouTube that I've ever seen. I want to share it with you. She sent it to me several weeks ago and I'm still thinking about it. These are one sentence testimonies that are true to those who wrote them. Check it out and make sure the volume on your computer is turned up. It truly is awesome and proves that God can save ANYBODY!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvDDc5RB6FQ
(If it doesn't work when you click on the link, you may have to copy and paste it.)

My cardboard testimony:

Looked for love in all the wrong places, Found Jesus who loves me like no other

If you'd like to share your cardboard testimony, please post it in the comments section. I'd love to share them on a blog once we get several back. Let's not be ashamed of what God has done in our lives. God is real! Jesus is real! And He changes lives!

Deeper Still

Me, Teri, Beth and Shannon (yes, mom, I know that's not correct grammar) are going to the Deeper Still conference this weekend at Philips Arena. I am so excited!! The speakers are going to be Beth Moore, Kay Arthur and Priscilla Shirer. I am looking forward to learning more about God this weekend and just getting a breath of fresh air. God has used each of these ladies in an incredible way in ministering to other women and this will be the first time that I've seen Beth Moore and Kay Arthur in person. It'll be a time to relax, have fun with some friends and spend learning scripture. Most of all, I'm excited to see what God is going to teach ME!

The rest of the summer is going to fly by for me. Chris and I are running the Peachtree 10K next week and then the following week is when I leave for India. I'll share more about that as it gets closer, but please pray for me in the mean time. India is a very difficult place to be and to minister. God ALWAYS stretches me when I'm there and sometimes that's not so fun. I get homesick the minute I step on the plane - knowing that my husband and babies will be without me for so long. And, of course, Satan always throws the "what-ifs" in there - as if I need something else to worry about. But, I know that God has said that I am not to worry. I need to focus on him and trust in him. His plan is not my plan. If God feeds and cares for the birds of the air, how much more does he care for me!

"Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to unto you."

Very busy week

We had a very busy week with VBS and other projects we were doing around the house. We took Gavin out of his crib and put him in his "big boy" bed this week. The furniture is very light colored - as is the walls - so of course I had to paint!! We also rearranged our office so that Chris can have his computer stuff and I can have my embroidery stuff in there. The basement was getting awfully lonely... :-) Anyway, with all of our projects plus just normal life we are very tired tonight.

Ivey asked me a very interesting question today. She asks me stuff all the time that I'm just amazed at. At her age, she's very curious about dying and heaven. Today, this was our conversation:

Ivey: Mommy, how do our bodies get to heaven when we die?
Me: (As usual, I pause for a moment to get my wits about me before answering her question.) "Well, we have a thing called a soul inside of us. It gives us our personality, makes us funny, makes us laugh. When we die, our soul leaves our body and goes to heaven. (All the while I'm thinking that I'm giving a half biblical answer, picturing Patrick Swayze's soul leaving his body in the movie Ghost.)
Ivey: Well, does our soul walk to heaven?
Me: I don't know. Maybe it flies to heaven.
Ivey: Well, who comes to pick them up so they can fly?

The conversation pretty much died off here. Sometimes, I don't even know how to answer her questions. I try to answer them the best I can so that she can understand, but some times, it's about something that I really don't understand myself. How DOES our soul go to heaven after we die? I think mine will run.

Vacation Bible School

The kids have had a wonderful time at VBS this week as have I. I've been teaching with Laura in the missions class and have loved it! I love being able to see all the kids every day instead of just a few. The songs this year are really catchy, too, and lots of fun to sing and dance to. Ivey and Gavin are able to go this year since I'm working in VBS. Ivey's class actually gets to rotate and do music, crafts, snack, etc. She has different music for preschool, so it's fun to watch her sing her songs and do the motions. Morgan is having a good time, too. This will be his last year as an attender of VBS - next year he'll be a youth helper. Scary isn't it??

A few last pictures of our vacation

Morgan is flying his airplane kite

Gavin watching the kite so high!

Me and my Honey

John covered Ivey up in the sand

My sister, Stephanie, my mom and me

This was an important picture for me to get. I don't think a picture exists with just the three of us, so it's a special one.

Good bye, beach! I'll be looking forward to seeing you again!!

More vacation pictures

Emma, Gavin, Ivey and John ride the kid ferris wheel

Riding the motorcycles

Getting ready to ride the kid roller coaster - YEA!

Chris and the kids go on the train.

Morgan and his dinosaur balloon hat.

Ivey and Gavin on the swings

Gavin getting ready to fly the airplane.

Emma and Ivey getting ready to fly the airplane.

Morgan and Grandma

Ivey and Gavin driving the kid bumper cars

God's Word

Last night as I sat down on my bed after all the kids were in bed asleep and the chores were done, I grabbed my bible and just stared at it. For some reason, I felt the Holy Spirit just say to me, "This...is for you, Jennifer." I guess growing up in church, having darkened the doors of the church every time they opened, I have to be very careful about taking the Bible for granted. It's been in my hand since I was able to grasp it with my little fingers and sometimes I lose the intimacy of its meaning and of its being. Last night, for some reason, I just saw it differently. The fact that God opened my eyes to his love letter to me was welcomed and much needed. It was as if I could actually see the words written on the cover, " To: Jennifer, From: God." I just prayed and thanked God for allowing me the freedom and privelege to have a Bible. I thanked Him for how it has changed my life, how it continues to correct and teach me, how it has never failed me and how it lets me know Him more. My accountability group is reading the book of Matthew and I just couldn't get enough last night. To read the actual words that Christ spoke and how he so eloquently, yet simply, taught his disciples so that they would understand. Yesterday, in the car, Ivey asked me how she can hear God's voice. I thought it was a pretty remarkable question for a three-year-old and, to be honest, I had to think for a minute about how to word my answer so that she could understand. My first answer was, "By reading the Bible. God speaks to us through the Bible. He also speaks to us through other people and other things we may hear or see."

Lord, thank you for your word. Thank you for teaching me and opening my eyes to how precious it is. Help me not to take it for granted and help me to study it more so that I can, in turn, know you more. Amen.

We're back!

Papa throwing the ball with Gavin in the pool

Gavin got a new hat with a baseball on it - he likes to wear it backwards. He gets that from his Dad!

Me and the bear that Chris won from playing a basketball game at the amusement park. More pictures of the amusement park to come later!

Can we say... Ham!

We did manage to get one photo of the five of us together. When the kids get a little older I really want to have professional pictures taken at the beach. But, until then this will have to do!

We had a great time visiting Chris' brother and his family in Charleston and spending the week with my family at the beach this past week. I have tons of pictures, so I'll try to share a few each day.

We're out of here!

We're headed to Charleston in the morning to spend the weekend with Chris' older brother and his family. On Sunday, we're leaving Charleston to spend the rest of the week in North Myrtle Beach with my family. I'm excited to be headed to the beach - sand and sun are my friends!! I'm also excited about getting to spend 10 days with my hubby and our kids, doing fun things and having a good time. I'm sure I'll have TONS of pictures and lots of stories upon my return. A friend will be staying here at the house to take care of the house and dog. I hope you all have a great week because I know I will!!

My newest creations

These are travel mugs that I personalized for Morgan's teachers for end-of-the-year gifts.

Bloomers for my friend's baby

Beach towels for the little ones

I'm loving having this embroidery machine. I've been able to make gifts for lots of people and doesn't everyone love something with their name on it? I've forgotten to take pictures of some of the things I've done, but these are the ones I've remembered.

Spending time with God

I'm tired of Satan getting the best of me. I've really been struggling lately to have my quiet times (reading my bible, praying, working on my bible study, etc.) on a daily basis. I prayed to God, "Lord, you know how much I love you. You know my heart. You know that I want to know you more... why is this such a huge struggle for me?" I met with my accountability group Saturday morning and shared this and I can feel their prayers. Also, on Sunday morning our pastor preached a great sermon about the life I live is Christ living in me. There is nothing I can do to earn his approval, his forgiviness or his mercy. I must die to myself every day and allow him to live through me. So, I said to Satan, "I'm not letting you win this battle. I won't make the choice any more to be too busy to spend time with my Lord every day. I'm not too busy to be on the computer, I'm not too busy to watch TV, so I'm certainly not too busy to spend time with God." I told Chris about my struggle last night and I told him that I wasn't going to get on the computer until I had spent time with God. Lately, God has been bringing to mind something that a friend of mine told me over a year ago. She was talking about how she spent time at her grandmother's house and that her grandmother taught her lots of things. But, one of the things she remembered the most was her grandmother telling her that if she's not hungry for the Word of God in the mornings then she wasn't hungry at all. Basically, since man does not live on bread alone but by every word of God, she wouldn't feed her physical body until she had fed her spirit by spending time with God. I've never forgotten that story. So, the Lord spoke to me yesterday and said, "What are you trying to live on? You are starving yourself!" I surrendered. I spent time in the Word and in prayer before beginning my day today and I plan to do that every day. I know that God knows my situation and how busy I am, but seriously... if I have time to do all the other things, don't I REALLY also have time to spend with Him? Of course, I do, I just didn't want to admit it.

Days are flying by

Well, today I feel like I don't have much interesting to write about. We have just been doing our normal routine. Morgan's last day of 5th grade was today - he'll be a "middle schooler" next year. He'll be in the youth group for crying out loud! I can't believe it.

Now on to what's really been bothering me,
I usually rock Gavin at night (I know... some people say he's too old for that, but he's my baby and I can rock him as long as I want to!) while Chris reads Ivey a book. Every night I think to myself, "Wow. I can't believe another day has gone by already." It just seems like the days go by so quickly and that my kids are growing up too fast - right before my very eyes. Tonight I'm a little sad about it. I love the ages they are now. They have enough independence that we feel like we can go places and do fun things, but they aren't so independent that they don't need us anymore. Sometimes I just want time to stand still. I was just talking to Chris last night about a spirit of fear that I'm having right now. It's fear that something tragic may happen to one of my children. I think that it's because, in the past 2 years, I've known people or have read about people, like Steven Curtis Chapman, who have lost children. It's like every time I turn around I hear about somebody's baby passing away - whether it's a 2 1/2 -hour-old baby or a 26-year-old baby. It's depressing, but it's real. I know that God is in control and nothing that happens would come as a surprise to Him. I believe that there is no "Plan B" with God. But, if it really came down to it, would I be able to live out what I say I believe? Would I be able to live through it? I really don't know. I struggle terribly with thoughts about what I could've done to make things different. I could have done this, I should not have done that. Things would have been different IF... I believe that if something happened to my children or to Chris, those thoughts would eat me up inside.

I know these are thoughts from Satan. I know that he's trying to make me doubt my Savior and His sovereignty. But, it's hard. The other day I was doing my bible study "Motherwise" and the day's study was about fear. I have to keep repeating the scripture that was given: 2 Timothy 1:7 says "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

Lord, help me to not be fearful. Help me not to be scared. Help me to know that the number of my days and the days of all the people I love have been known by you since the beginning of time. Help me to trust in you and to walk with you with a child-like faith. I don't have to understand everything about you, I don't have to know everything about you, I just have to remember that you love me. Help me to enjoy every moment that I have with my children, with my husband and my family. Thank you for the blessing that they are to me. I love you! xoxoxo

Bad doggie

This is what happens in our house when pets (or children) don't behave. Apparently "doggie" hit his mommy, so he got spanked and had to sit in the corner. My kids love imitating Chris and I - the good, the bad and the ugly. Shall I never forget that they're always watching... Even though they sometimes imitate the things that we don't want them to, every once in a while God lets us see that they pick up on the good things, too. This morning I was getting some clothes out of the dryer and I heard Ivey in my room praying. I tip-toed in there to see her because I thought she was probably standing in front of the mirror watching herself talk (her favorite hobby). But, she was on her knees in the corner of her room with her hands folded and her head laying on her hands. She was just talking to God. Among other things, I heard, "Thank you for my family. Help us to have good day. And I thank you for everything. Thank you for Jesus. Amen."

Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to see this precious moment between you and my daughter. May she always seek you and follow after you. May she never stop praising you, bringing glory to your name and laying her troubles at your feet. May she always trust in you. Lord, please take hold of her heart and never let go. Amen.