It's been another busy, but relatively uneventful week - which is good. Monday was spent doing laundry, going to the gym and taking my Grandaddy to the doctor. Tuesday, while the kids were in preschool, I paid the bills, went to the grocery store to fill our nearly bare cupboards and met a friend for lunch. Then, my in-laws came over for dinner and my mother-in-law and I took Ivey to the mall to buy shoes except there was NOT ONE spring shoe in extra wide. So, I ended up having to come home and order them online, but atleast shipping was free. Today, I did a power clean-up in the kitchen before heading to get my hair trimmed and then went out to lunch with Chris and "the guys" before picking up the kids. Chris just left to take Morgan to the dentist, Ivey has to be at dance inn 30 minutes and then we're off to dinner at church... this is the life I lead. Stay-at-home moms know what I'm talking about... you're running around like crazy but feel like you never got anything done or, even worse, can't even remember what you did! It's great though and I wouldn't trade it for anything!



So, anyway, the other day while I was fixing lunch, Ivey started singing this "Flower" song that she says she learned at Cubbies. I thought it was veryy cute and God definitely spoke to me through it. I think it's quite amazing how God works through children even with the simplest of songs. I hope she never forgets it. Here it is...

I can't believe it's been so long since my last post... time flies when you're having fun! I don't have any news, but I just thought I'd share what's been happening in our lives for those of my friends and family that I don't see very often.

We've pretty much just been doing the same 'ol thing. Monday is "Laundry Day", Tuesday - Thursday are preschool days when I cram in as many errands as I possibly can, Wednesday night is church and, well, the weekends just end faster than I can blink. Since all of the rain here this week, the past few days have been a little exhausting with the kids cooped up in the house. Today, I met a friend at Monkey Joe's to let the kids bounce around for a couple of hours. Then, it was on to lunch time, getting Ivey's hair cut in the afternoon (shorter and very cute!) and then taking Morgan to church to begin Disciple Now weekend, errand at Target, etc.... A very busy day! But, I love busy days and, surprisingly, the little ones and I had a good time at Target. They are finally getting to the age where doing errands with them isn't so bad. So, we've got a fun weekend ahead of us and are hoping that the rain and tornados predicted for tomorrow don't sweep us away. Monday should be sunny and 73... we'll be at the park for sure!!!

Meet me on the hill

Hebrews 12:1-2
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the JOY that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."
God can use anything, anywhere, any time to teach us more about him. Today, this morning actually, he used running to draw my heart to Him. I love to run outside when the weather is nice. For one, I don't have to waste a total of 40 minutes driving to and from the gym. Secondly, I'm exercising while listening to my favorite praise and worship songs blaring through the headphones of my iPod. Thirdly, I seem to really be able to focus on God when I'm running and am in awe of his beautiful creation around me. So, any way, I had been running about ten minutes or so before I started up a hill in our neighborhood, one that I had run up lots of times before. But today I found something spiritual in running up that hill. First, I thought "This is where I AM right now." I've allowed myself to run downhill, it's so easy to do... gradually, so as to not even really notice that I'm going down until I'm at the bottom, in a spiritual valley. Of course, I can't stay there. I must run back home. So, I start up the hill, slow and steady. Is it hard? yes. Is it fun? not really. Do I stop? no way. But, I have to continue running. I set my eyes at the top of the hill, put one foot in front of the other and focus on my prize. God met me on that hill today. He reminded me that he is my prize. He is the reason I keep running on, putting one foot in front of the other, perservering through the struggles of life. He said, "Keep running. I know it's hard sometimes and I know you struggle. But, keep running." I even thought about when I don't really want to run any more, I'm tired and worn out and that little hill looks like a mountain. However, I have to make my body do what my mind knows that it can. And so it is with my spirit, too. When I'm weary and don't feel like trying to do the right thing or wanting to please God or even desiring to read my bible... I have to. I have to go through the motions until my heart believes what my mind knows is true. It's only a matter of time and, usually, not very long. So, I'm now on my journey back up the hill. And this hill, even though it seem rather unpleasant, will yield the fruit of knowing God more. I look forward to many more meetings with my true Love on that hill.

Harlem Globetrotters

Chris and I took Morgan and one of his friends to see the Harlem Globetrotters Saturday afternoon. I had never seen them before, so when QT sent out a deal with 4 tickets we thought it would be fun. It was really funny and the boys loved it! We had a great time just spending time with them and doing something special with Morgan.

The guys warm up before the "game" begins. Each of them did really cool tricks with the ball. It was quite amazing! Some of these guys were at least 7 feet tall and they only had one that was close to 6 feet.

The crowd does the YMCA. (See Morgan in the red shirt.)

This is one of the tricks they did quite a bit. They ran in a really tight zig-zag while throwing the ball to each other playing keep away from the other "team."

Night with Mommy

Chris went out tonight with some guy friends, so I had the kids all to myself. By default, any time one of us leaves the house for the evening, the other one usually finds somewhere to take the kids. Honestly, I think it's survival mode. So, since Chris headed out tonight, I decided that I would take the kids to the park, run a few errands then head home for dinner, baths and bed time. I had it all planned out perfectly. And, actually, it went very well. First, we went to the park. Then to Home Depot and Target. Then we headed home for ramen noodles (what every good mom fixes her kids for dinner, right?). It's now 8:18, I just sat down and after I finish this, I'm going to find some dinner for myself. Maybe I'll get out the rest of those Girl Scout cookies. I think I hear them calling my name...

Here are some pictures of my evening with the little kids...

Gavin LOVED the rock wall. He thought he was so big.

Gavin is pretty tough until his feet leave the ground. He made me promise that I wouldn't push too high.

And, of course, Ivey never meets a stranger. (I hope this lady didn't mind me taking her picture)

I think my kids honestly think it's a sin to go to Home Depot without riding the lawn mowers, so we definitely had to stop and do that.

Pay the Bills

It's nearing the last day of the month, tomorrow is Pay Day, and we're excited to pay our bills!! For the last several months, I've often wished away the weeks until Pay Day so that I could make another payment on debt... getting us that much closer to being debt free! We've been working on paying off our debt for a while, but since starting Dave Ramsey's FPU class last month we feel like we have an even better handle on our money. We actually feel like we control our money instead of it controlling us. By our calculations, we should be debt free, except for our house, by the end of 2010 - I can't tell you how excited that makes us!! Chris and I have made a lot of mistakes and learned a lot of hard lessons, but now we have a plan to meet our goal and it's working!! We're glad that we've had this opportunity relatively early in our marriage and look forward to spending the rest of our marriage having financial peace. We really believe that, for some reason, God allowed us this opportunity and we're excited that we have embraced it and are working hard at being good stewards of the money he has given us. Yes, it's all His.

Not the phone call I want to get

So, I was sitting at my computer yesterday morning about 10:30 and my cell phone rings. I didn't recognize the number, but I answer it any way.

"Hello?"
"Yes, may I speak with Mrs. Smathers?"
"This is she"
"Mrs. Smathers, this Mrs. Kerwood, Morgan's teacher. (uh-oh!) Morgan has been having trouble with his behavior at school today. I have him right here. I'm going to let him tell you what's been going on." (I am fuming)
Morgan gets on the phone:
"Hello?" (In a very quiet voice)
"WHAT IS GOING ON!?"
"Um, I don't know" (yeah, right)
"Well, tell me what you did!"
"Um, I wasn't working during study hall. (Big surprise, you never work during study hall) And, I accidentally threw an eraser across the room because somebody told me to"
"No, you didn't ACCIDENTALLY do anything! And just because someone tells you to do something, does that mean it's okay?"
"No"
"What else have you been doing, or NOT doing?"
"Um, when we were at break, me and Andrew were kicking each other"
"You were WHAT? Is that what you're supposed to be doing at break?"
"No"
"Then what's your problem?"
"I don't know"
"You better work at 150% for the rest of the day. You keep your hands, feet and obects to yourself. You will be SEVERELY punished when you get home. I will talk to you about this this afternoon!"

Then the teacher gets back on the phone, so I put my nice voice back on.

"Mrs. Kerwood, I want Morgan to have silent lunch today and if he isn't working during study hall then give him worksheets to do and put him in the hallway."
"Yes, ma'am. We can do that. Thank you."
"Thank you"

OH, man! Was I mad! There were a few more sentences in there, but that was the jist of it. Morgan is a good kid, but, he's at the age where he DOESN'T THINK. I believe his brain temporarily turns off at some points during the day. I remember being in the 6th grade and some boy made me really mad, so yelled out some explicatives in front of the whole class. Those were the words I heard other kids using (my parents never talked that way), so I thought that would do the trick. It didn't. What was I thinking?? I wasn't. It happens. Needless to say he was punished when he got home with a laundry list of chores to do as well as no TV, no computer and no Wii for the rest of the week. He got mad for about 30 minutes and then he got over it and was as happy as he could be doing his chores. Of course!

Lots of paperwork

Chris and I decided to look at changing companies for our homeowner's and auto insurance. We've been with the same company forever and decided to see what else was out there. It's kind of like Dave Ramsey said before, "We do things because that's 'just what our parents did'." We don't even know why we do things the way we do. So we looked into another company with an insurance agent that attends our church and sure enough we'll be saving about $900 a year with the new company. So, this week I'm emailing, calling and filling out paperwork for the new insurance company. While we're at it, we decided to increase Chris' life insurance policy (God forbid anything should happen to my sweet hubby) "just in case". Since I could never support our family on a teacher's salary, we decided we would rather be safe than sorry. And, if we're starting Chris' life insurance policy term over again, we might as well redo mine. So, again, here comes more paperwork. Last week the nurse came out to do our medical examinations for the life insurance. She ended up only doing mine because the life insurance company had a question about Chris. The nurse drew blood from me and I thought Chris was going to faint just watching. He's been nervous ever since because he knows she has to come back out to do his next week. It's kind of funny to me - I like to tease him about it. Drawing blood doesn't bother me - HELLO! I'VE GIVEN BIRTH TO THREE KIDS! Anyway, this week is filled with paperwork, phone calls and more paperwork. Oh, the joy of being an adult!

I took Gavin for his 3-year check up today. He weighs 32 pounds and is 38 inches tall. Over the last year, he has gained 6 pounds and grown 4 inches! He didn't have to get any shots today and he was great during the exam - all business. His biggest concern was taking off his clothes because he doesn't usually like to be naked. I think it makes him feel vulnerable. Anyway, he did great and hopefully he'll be as healthy this year and he was last year. He didn't have to go to the doctor a single time except for a flu shot.

During the exam the doctor asked me if I had any specific questions or concerns. In fact, I did. Gavin used to sleep until at least 8 AM, but now he's waking at least once, usually twice, during the night and then up for good by 6:30 AM. This doesn't really work for me, since he comes to MY side of the bed, so we obviously need to find another solution. Two nights ago I decided it was time to play hard ball. Chris was out of town, so I was determined to nip this in the bud. From now on, we're going to treat Gavin, or Ivey, just like we did when they were infants. We're going to make a clear distinction between day time and night time, i.e. SLEEP time!! At night, there's no talking, no hugging, no kissing, no nothing! If Gavin gets up during the night, I pick him up without saying a word, put him back in his bed, cover him up and walk out of the room. Of course, this results in crying. So, I walk back in the room and quietly say, "Be quiet. No crying." and walk back out of the room. The first night this happened, he wasn't really sure what to do. It was hard for me because he holds his arms up for a hug and says, "Mommy, I want you." Well, no Mr. Nice Guy anymore (or Ms. Nice Lady) as the case may be. I said, "No hugs at night-night time" and walked out. The first night he woke up twice - 12:15 and 5:30 AM. The second night he woke up about 1 AM. Whew! It's working! He still woke up at 6:30, but we also made the rule that Ivey nor Gavin can get out of their beds until Mommy or Daddy come to get them. So, when he woke up at 6:30, I took him back to bed and said that I would be back to get him a little while. He stayed in his room until 7:15 when I heard him singing and didn't want him to wake up Ivey. So, anyway, the last few nights have been a little hard, but I know that it'll work if we stick to it. Our babies didn't sleep through the night at 8 weeks old for nothin'! The doctor thought that I was doing the right thing and said that he is probably just needing less sleep since he's getting older. I could feel my insides turn over. Instead of taking a nap every day, he may only need one every other day or so. Oh, my! Are you serious?? I'm glad it'll be getting warmer soon. The park is about to be our best friend!

OK - So my friend, Ginger, told me about a great website called southernsavers.com. It's kind of like a blog that tells everyone about great deals in their area. So, the first one for today was for restaurant.com. So, I got to the website. You can type in your zip code and it will give you lots of restuarants in your area that are wanting people to try their restuarant. You scroll down the list of restaurants and you can choose to buy either a $10 off coupon or a $25 off coupon to any of the listed restaurants. Here's the deal... you normally by the coupon for $3 or $10 respectively. However, there is a discount code this week... PREZ... that gives you 70% off. So, you can buy a $10 off coupon to the restaurant of your choice for only $.90!!! Or a $25 off coupon for $3!! I bought 4 coupons for when Chris and I want to go out to a nice dinner. What a bargain!! AND, you can use Paypal so that it comes straight out of your check book and you don't have to put in on your credit card. Dave Ramsey would LOVE me!

Chris decided to get this video of Gavin singing "Mighty To Save." It's one of my favorite songs and was my ring tone on my old phone. (I want to get it again, but Chris has to order it first.) Anyway, Gavin has memorized the chorus because of listening to it on my phone and also because I turn the radio up whenever the song comes on in the car. Sometimes, he just randomly starts singing it when we're doing different things. I love the song because it encompasses the sovereignty of God which is quite an amazing and mind-blowing thing. It also reminds me to continue praying for those in my family and circle of friends that aren't Christians. He IS mighty to save! The author of salvation! Shine your light and let the whole world see, we're singing for the glory of the risen King!

For Christmas, one of Morgan's gifts was tickets to see STOMP at the Fox Theatre. Chris and I went to see it about a year and a half ago, I LOVED the show... Chris didn't. He's never been into music and he is rhythmically challenged, so he didn't appreciate it the way I, the former drummer, did. So, we decided that my mom and I would take Morgan to see the show in late January. We went to the afternoon show, had really great seats (7 rows from the stage) and it was a BLAST! Morgan loved it and my mom and I did too. The show was even better than last time - it's absolutely amazing to see what those people can do! After the show we went to The Melting Pot to enjoy fondue and it was absolutely delicious. That is one of Morgan's favorite places to go, other than Kani House, so we treated him to a nice dinner with Mom and Grandma. We had a great time and it was so nice to just get to spend time with Morgan.

Birthday party!! Tonight we held a celebration for Gavin's birthday. I told Gavin that yesterday was his real birthday, but since he was sick yesterday we were going to pretend that today was his birthday. Well, that didn't go over very well. He cried saying, "But...it's not real." But, once everybody started arriving and he got to play with his cousin Andrew, everything was great.
We also celebrated Ginger's birthday (Feb. 1) and Grandma Marjane's birthday (Feb. 7th) as well. Since Chris and I have such a large family, we usually have at least one birthday, usually two or three, each month. I think we may possibly get the month of March off which our check book will appreciate! Here are some pictures of the birthday party tonight. We had a great time!

Since it was so nice outside today, we had time to play ball before the party started. It was so nice to get some fresh air.

Happy Birthday, Gavin!! Today is Gavin's 3rd birthday. He was actually born about 9:45 PM, so I guess he won't technically be three until tonight. Chris and I will always remember that we were watching 24 in the hospital room when Gavin was born. I had an epidural, so I wasn't feeling much except some pressure. The nurse came to check me and Gavin's head was coming out, so she had to push it back in while the doctor got ready real quick. I'll never forget that feeling - very weird - and we were a little disappointed that we couldn't finish that episode of 24! Chris and I joked later that we should have named him Jack. Anyway, it's really neat to watch Gavin growing so fast. His absolutely loves Spider-Man. He is emotionally attached to our dog, Charlie. He's always laying on her and hugging her. She just looks at me with her big brown eyes and waits for him to eventually climb off. He's always saying funny, random things - always making us laugh. He also has a bit of stubbornness and isn't always the most obedient child. But, the wooden spoon scares him to death , so the threat of that works most of the time. I love the way he runs, it just makes me laugh. He loves playing with Ivey and his favorite game is to play "football". That basically means that he wants you to tackle him when he gets the ball. There isn't really any throwing involved. I'm curious to see how much he's grown over the past few months, so hopefully I can remember to make his appointment for a well-check... I guess that's what happens when you're the 3rd child. :-)

Anyway, he woke up this morning sick to his stomach. I hope he doesn't have a bug, but he threw up twice - at 5 AM and then again at 6:15 AM. I had the feeling that something like that would happen! He acts okay for a while, but then acts like his tummy is hurting again. I hope he got it all out of his system, but I guess we'll see. We're supposed to have a family party for him tonight, so I hope he feels better soon.

The long awaited project is finally finished. We've completed the basement! We are still putting the finishing touches on... hanging the mirror in the bathroom, putting up door stops, etc., but we're super excited to have this addition to our home. Chris and his fellow employees moved in on Monday and began their first official week of work in the basement. In case I didn't let you know, Chris decided to move the office to the basement in order to save on rent. There are only 5 guys that work here, so it's not that bad. Plus, I have somebody to each lunch with every day! We are also excited to have this has our family hang out room in the evenings and when football season gets here I'm sure we'll be camping out down there. It also offers us more space to host parties and get-togethers, and, of course, we're excited about that because we always love company!

Here are the pictures......................................................................................................................

This is where the guys work, except for Chris. He has a seperate office. I didn't realize that their desks would take up quite so much room, so we didn't have room to put out the ping pong table. It'll stay folded up in the storage closet until we need it.

Here is our TV room and our RED couch from our old house.

Chris was so excited to get this built-in entertainment system. We actually had this built last year when we were trying to finish the basement in pieces.

Here is Chris' office. He thought I was weird for taking these picture. Oh, well....

Here's the bathroom. We still have a little bit of work to do in there

Here is the hallway with storage closets and a counter with sink.

Here is the eating room. My grandparents' kitchen table is to the left but you can't see it in the picture. It's really cool - orange, brown and green!! A blast from the past!!

So that's it. The whole basement goes in a big circle and it's really comfy down there. We can't wait to get more use out of it!!

Does anyone other than me get super annoyed when your children wake you up in the middle of the night for no good reason? I need my sleep. I've always needed a lot of sleep, even when I was a kid. I could never stay up late and I was always up before 9 AM. I would even tell my mom that I was ready to go to bed (usually around 8:30 PM) - why can't MY children be more like me?

Actually, my daughter is very much like me, so I'm positive that will lead to treacherous teenage years.

Anyway, for the past two weeks, one of my youngest children have woken up at least once during the night. When they were babies, I would let them "cry it out" ? (yes, I do believe in that) and it would be over within a night or two. However, they can now cry louder and longer so that's not really an option anymore. To hear them cry in the middle of the night makes me want to slit my wrist (not really, but you understand what I'm saying.) I hate being woken up when I'm sleeping soundly.

Three nights ago, Gavin decided that he didn't want to be in bed anymore. It was only 11 PM and within 30 minutes, after going back into his room at least 3 times because he wouldn't stop crying and calling in reinforcement from Chris, I had the wooden spoon in my hand threatening to use it. Thank goodness all I had to do was threaten because I really didn't want to spank the poor kid (yes, I believe in that too, but I'd rather not do it at 11 o'clock at night). I laid the spoon on his bedside table to "remind" him of what would happen if he didn't stay in bed and he almost freaked out. Like, he almost silly-string freaked out. For those of you who don't know, Gavin has a terrible phobia of silly string. Don't ask me why. But, he will go into histerics and beg you to put it away. Anyway, I left the spoon on his bedside table and he cried, "I don't want that there!" So, I took the spoon with me, so that he could peacefully return to sleep. It worked.

The past two nights, it's been Ivey waking up. Unfortunately for me, she comes to MY side of the bed and gets about 2 centimeters away from my face before I wake up. You know how it is. She comes right beside me, stands on the side rail of the bed, hangs her face over mine so that I can feel her breath on cheek and stares at me until I open my eyes in almost sheer panic. I'm almost positive that Chris hears her enter the room, but he's no dummy. He's lies perfectly still and quiet, so that I think he's still asleep. Yeah, right. So, I pick her up, stumble down the hallway while trying not to bump into any walls since I don't have my glasses on and put her back to bed. I turn on her radio and kiss her good night - again.

So, what's the deal??? I feel like I'm back to the infant stage. It's quite frustrating. I'm going to have to come up with something to keep those little people in their beds. Hmmmm.....

I know this comes a tad late... but, since I don't really do New Year's "resolutions", I figured I should come up with some goals. I'm a fairly goal-oriented person. Actually, I like to play games with myself. Is that weird? I also like to have competitions with myself just to see if "I" can win. Honestly, I like to see how hard I can push myself. If I have a specific goal in mind, I won't stop until I acheive it. It was like that when I went to college. Going to college was never really an "if" in my house, it was "when." So, even though I had major personal trials right out of high school (i.e. unplanned pregnancy, marriage, divorce, unimaginable stress), I still knew that it was my goal to graduate from college with a degree in something that I enjoyed and that would be a life-long career. Having chosen Mathematics Education as my major, I went every semester for 4 years and earned a Bachelor's degree. I digress... All that to say, I enjoy acheiving goals. So, I'm wondering what goals I should set for myself this year. I think I came up with a few whether they be major or minor. We'll see what happens...

1. Finish reading the Old Testament. One wouldn't think that this should be so difficult, but amidst life, reading the Sunday School curriculum, reading for my accountability group and struggles with quiet times, it's taken me almost two years to read Joshua through Psalms. I know I can do it though.

2. Run a faster 5-K. My PR for a 5K is just under 31 minutes. I'm shooting for 29. That's still only a 9:30 mile. It's really not that fast, but fast enough for me.

3. Continue to exercise regularly. Push-push-push! I want to push myself to do more in the gym.

4. Take my kids on more outings. I really do have great intentions for this, but it just doesn't seem to happen. I think I chicken out because the thought of being outnumbered scares me. I mean I'm always outnumbered, but at least in the house they are contained and I can threaten them without anyone actually hearing me. Ya know?

5. Pay off credit cards and one car. Since our mortgage payment went up $600 last April (due to miscalculations on our mortgage loan and an increase in property value), we have been on a strict cash budget. After the inital shock of learning how to scale back, we decided that we could scale back even more and pay off our debt while we're at it. I'm happy to say that we've paid off over half of our credit card debt in the last 7 months, but we want to get rid of it all. Since our church is having Dave Ramsey's F.P.U. class this semester, I'm pretty sure we can pay of the rest of our debt plus one car by the end of the year.

Well, I think those are good goals for now. We'll see how it goes... :-)

Today at our MOPS meeting, we asked moms that have home based businesses or hobbies to bring some of their items to share and sell. Chris' cousin, Mandi, brought in these BEAUTIFUL sculptures of her and her husband's hands. It was absolutely beautiful and WHAT A TREASURE for generations to come. I would LOVE to have something like this to look back on years from now and for my children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren to have even after we pass away. Mandi is doing these sculptures for $70 and I think that is a great price, especially for something that will last for many, many years. And who can put a price tag on something so sentimental? Anyway, I'm going to put together a couples party for the end of February. Mandi and her husband Paul are going to come and do these sculptures for whoever wants to have it. Let me know if you're interested. I can't wait!!!

Mandi also does sculptures of children's hands so that you have more than just a handprint, but a real version of your little one's whole hand. It's hard to put words on how precious these are.

This is the sculpture of Mandi and Paul's hands. This side shows Mandi's hand.

This side shows Paul's hand. Look at the detail of his wedding ring, knuckles and veins. Incredible!

These are the sculptures of Mandi's son's hands at various stages his first year. I just want to eat that sweet pinky sticking out.

Deuteronomy 33:27 - "The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms."

During this spiritual desert that I've been walking through, I met with a friend/mentor/someone-I-want-to-be-like and she gave me a GREAT book to read. It's called "Secure in the Everlasting Arms" by Elisabeth Elliot. Elisabeth was married to Jim Elliot who was killed by the Aucas Indian tribe in Ecuador where they were serving as missionaries in 1956. Their daughter was 10-months old at the time. When her daughter was three she went BACK to Ecuador to live among the very people who killed her husband in order to tell them about Jesus. After several years, she moved back to the U.S. and married a doctor named Addison Lietch who died of cancer some years later. Finally, she's now married to husband number three, Lars Gren. Anyway, she's a remarkable woman of God who, through unfathomable circumstances, continues to give glory and honor to the God of the universe, her Savior. Anyway, I'm reading one of the many books she wrote. This book is a collection of short stories from her own life. Each one is a separate incident, so I can pick it up and put it down whenever I want. Last night, I was reading a story called "A Dog's Thanksgiving." It is taken from her second husband's book, This Cup.

It reads: "I remember fixing the wounded leg of my dog. There was some struggle and a hurt crying but he kept licking my hand. The hand of the one who was hurting him and the hand of the one who was healing him were the same, and his endurance of the one rested in his trust in the other... Our Heavenly Father often has to hurt us in order to heal us. We sometimes fail to recognize His mightly love in this, yet we are firmly held always in the Everlasting Arms."

Food for thought...

The week before Christmas was a particularly difficult week for me. To sum it up, I wanted to hang my twelve year old from his toe nails. He, being my first child, is the child-rearing guinnea pig for Chris and I. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of allowing him too much freedom with his school work (I didn't realize that my expectation was so unreasonable, it definitely wasn't) and he fell somewhat behind. He had many assignments to do, turn in, get in order, etc. all before the last day of school which was was the last day of the grading period. Of course, being the why-wouldn't-you-WANT-to-do-well-in-school mother that I am, took him up to the school to clean out and organize his locker, help him organize notebooks to turn in and made sure that everything was "just right." (AKA - the way I would do it.) I also re-did a project that he had been working on, but somehow lost on the computer, while he sat at my feet and answered Science Review questions. I'm not saying I did the RIGHT thing, I'm just saying I DID it. (I hope my mother doesn't read this :-) )Anyway, we finally got everything squared away before the end of the week, after I aged five years, and finally were able to look forward to the Christmas holiday. Except, it wasn't that simple.

After worrying all week about Morgan and trying to help him get caught up, I had neglected my quiet time with the Lord. I hadn't even picked up my bible, much less spent any time reading it. I practically had to brush the dust off of it as we headed to church the following Sunday. Neither did I spend any heart-felt time in prayer other than in asking God to prevent me from physically harming my child. And as the days have progressed, Christmas has come and gone, I still loved my Savior and wanted to know him more - I just felt somewhat "disconnected." He was still my best friend, but one that I hadn't spent time with in a while. Yet, at the same time, I wanted to. I wrestled with having my quiet time, when to have my quiet time, does a quiet time mean reading my bible for 15 minutes and praying for 15 minutes (of course, it doesn't), what if I only read one verse as opposed to five chapters, what if I only have five minutes instead of an hour, what if, what if, what if. What if what I was really doing was trying to "please" God with my quiet time "performance?" Now we're getting somewhere. I haven't really figured it out, but what I DO know is that whatever time I spend with my Lord I want to be there. Not just physically there, but mentally and spiritually there. I want my heart there. I want my needs there. I want my WILL there.

The every day demands of being a wife and the mother of three children are here. God knows. He knows me. He knows what I can and can't handle. He knows what my time with him should look like and it very well may look like something different every day. He knows I love Him. He knows I need Him. He knows I want Him. He knows that whether I have five minutes or an hour, we'll pick up right where we left off. Just like best friends.