Sunday, August 17, 2008

Braves game

Ms. Gwendy, Grammy and Morgan
Happy Birthday, Grammy!!

Gavin is getting an airbrush baseball on his arm

Morgan got an airbrush A on his face

Riding to the Braves game

Watching the Georgia Tech band


At the game - Go Braves!


Daddy and Gavin

Mom and I

Our family went to the Braves game this past Friday night to celebrate Chris' mom's birthday. Sandy's actual birthday was Friday, so we got tickets for the family (and her closest friends) for the Braves game. We took all three kids and the little ones actually did very well. They stayed in or near their seats the whole time, ate a bunch of junk food and had a great time. We stayed for the entire game and even watched the Friday Night Fireworks afterwards. The Braves lost to the Giants, but that's okay. Ivey actually got her picture on the big screen. They started playing the theme song to full house and then put up camera shots of look-alikes in the crowd. They compared Ivey to "Michelle". We had a good laugh and she loved seeing her picture up there. It was also Georgia Tech night at the game. Before the game, they interviewed some of the athletes just inside the main entrance and had the cheerleaders there. Then, the whole Georgia Tech marching band came out. When I hear the drums start playing, I just get so excited - it doesn't matter what school they're from. I absolutely LOVE the band and would almost rather watch them than the actual football game. I was in the band in high school (drumline, no doubt!) and had the best time ever! Unfortunately, I went to a universitythat didn't have a football team or band, so I didn't get to continue that experience in college. But, if I had it would have been AWESOME! Anyway, Morgan and I just love watching the band, especially the drummers, so we had a grea time with that. Just hearing them made me fired up for the upcoming football season - WAAAAAR EAGLE, HEY! (I just had to get that in!) Anyway, we got home around 11:45 PM and, of course, the kids had all fallen asleep in the car on the way. We had a great time and enjoyed spending time with the family.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

I'm sitting here checking my email and Chris is watching TV. The kids are playing and riding on the alligator seesaw. Ivey came up to me and said, "I'm going to talk to God. I need to tell him something." She climbed up beside me, crossed her legs, folded her hands and closed her eyes. She stayed very quiet and very still for a few seconds and then opened her eyes and got down. She said, "I just needed to tell him something." I thought to myself, "You go right ahead, honey. He's listening." I almost asked her to tell me what she needed to tell him, but I didn't. I'll let this one stay between the two of them. I wonder how God feels when the little ones to talk to him. I think he hears them and smiles. I think it puts a little "hop" in his step. Ivey likes to pray at the dinner table to bless the food. Tonight, this was her prayer, "Dear God, Thank you for today. Thank you for sending this food all the way down here. Thank you for keeping everyone in the whole world safe. Amen." I'm assuming she thinks God sends the food from heaven. He did in the Old Testament, so I guess he could again if he wanted to. Chris and I hold each other's hands and squeeze to keep from laughing out loud. It's just so darn cute!! And, I can't bring myself to tell her that everyone in the whole world is not safe. Everyone in HER whole world is safe, for the moment. But, she'll realize the realities of life soon enough so I just let her be. I love to hear her talk to God. It's just so innocent.

I also changed her dance day to Tuesday so that she'll be with other kids. She went again on Tuesday and had a great time with the other little girls. One day I'll get in there and take some pictures to post.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Today was Ivey's first day of dance lessons. I went to drop her off this morning and our car was one of two in the parking lot. At first I just figured everyone was late, but then, as we entered, we learned that actually Ivey is the only one in her class right now. I kind of felt badly for her, but she didn't really care. She doesn't know any different so she enjoyed her private lessons today. We'll see if some other kids join the class in the next few weeks. If not, then we'll probably switch her to a new class. I went to run some errands and then came back about 15 minutes before the end of class. She was so cute! I did realize that I need to buy her a leotard that's a size bigger because her little cheeks were hanging out - she comes by it honestly, poor thing. But, she had a great time learning some ballet and tap moves and can't wait to go back next week.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Please pray for Chris' side of the family. They are going through a very difficult time right now with a particular situation. Pray for openness, healing, reconciliation and restoration. I just finished reading an excellent book called When I Lay My Isaac Down: Unshakeable Faith in Unthinkable Circumstances. At the time I didn't know why I was reading it, but I knew that it was no accident that God put it in my path. Just a couple of weeks later, I know now why I was supposed to read that book. God may allow us to walk through circumstances or experiences that we don't like and that we don't want. But, he is sovereign and he never leaves us. Sometimes we have to sacrifice our "control" and let God work - just like Abraham was willing to do when he was told to sacrifice Isaac. The outcome may be what we want it to, like God providing a ram for Abraham to sacrifice instead of Isaac, or it may not. In the times where God doesn't provide a "ram" for our "Isaac", we still must trust that He knows what He's doing. He IS sovereign and we are promised that in all things God works for the good of those who love him and who have been called according to his purpose.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Catching up




Okay, so, since my pre-teen parenting woes are starting to get old... yet, non-relenting... I must find something else to blog about. I have plenty of things to share, but I don't really want everything announced to the whole world. So, let's see.... Ummmm...


I signed Ivey up for ballet/tap classes today. She's going to take lessons at Off Broadway Dance Center just behind the McDonald's at Crabapple. They have a very reasonable monthly price there. She has asked me about it several times and I kept brushing it off. But, I really think she would enjoy it and just thinking about watching her try to do ballet or tap makes me laugh (in a good way.)


Gavin is so big now. He still isn't potty training although he totally knows what to do. He's going to be one of those kids that doesn't really care about whether or not they have to wear a diaper. He told me that it was bothering him the other day and I said, "Well, if you would go pee-pee in the big potty, then you can wear big boy underwear." That's the last I heard about that...


Morgan has decided that he doesn't want to play sports this fall which is kind of good and kind of bad. I really want him to have a hobby that he's interested in, but I have to admit that not having to tote the family around 2 or 3 nights a week to practices sounds really good! I'm still hoping that he'll find a hobby that is relatively inexpensive, yet is something he's truly interested in. Maybe it'll be school.... NOT!


Chris and I are doing great. We are starting back our routines of having date night on Thursdays. We can't do it every Thursday because of other things coming up which is fine. But, we look forward to the time to be by ourselves and talk about things. And, I believe it shows our children that mom and dad come first. They can thank us for that life lesson if a few decades. Chris is totally busy with work and I'm just chugging along here at the house. The little ones will start preschool three days a week on August 19th. Is it wrong to be excited about that? I surely don't want to wish away their childhood years, but it is nice to have time to myself. Of course, I'm already filling it up with things... Tuesday is Bible Study, Wednesday is housecleaning and Thursday is errands.


Other than that, I guess there's not much to tell right now. I'm still working out and running. I've tried to talk a few friends into doing a 5K with me on November 8th - we'll see which of them actually signs up. The race is the Big Pumpkin 5K Run/Walk. They are giving away a free long-sleeve technical (moisture-wicking) t-shirt to all runners. So, if you'd like to join us, then sign up on http://www.active.com/.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Parenting... sometimes I could do without it, but the good times far outweigh the not-so-good times... I think.

Having a preteen in the house... Lord, help me

One minute we're laughing and cutting up, the next minute I'm repremanding Morgan for something that I can't help but ask, "What were you thinking?" He pushes the buttons of his little sister, a three-year-old for crying out loud, just to hear her scream. Then, when I can't take another minute I decide to get involved and, miraculously, no one did anything wrong! Absolutely amazing I tell you. How hard is it to make your bed? Apparently, too hard for a 6th grader. He's part child and part adolescent. He still wants smiley-face stickers on his chore chart and he can't seem to be the "bigger person" in arguments over whose balloon his whose, yet he wants to stay at home alone and get allowance. So, how does this whole parenting thing work? I have absolutely no idea. I feel like whatever I did, whatever choice I made, whatever discipline I implented - it was the wrong one. So many questions, so few answers. By the time I figure this parenting thing out, they'll all be grown and married. Will he actually grow up to be a decent human-being that can keep his room clean, brush his teeth and take a shower without being asked to? Probably. Will he love the Lord and understand His grace and mercy? Hopefully. But, how do I get him to that point? I have no idea.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories. ~John Wilmot

Friday, August 1, 2008

I have a "Youth"!!

Chris and I had our first "I can't believe this" moment as a parent of a 6th grader. Morgan is now a part of the youth group at church and went to his very first youth overnight event on Wednesday and Thursday. To be honest, I was a bit nervous but I knew it would be good for him in many, many ways. As we were getting his bag packed the night before, I was reading off the items that he should bring while he retrieved them and put them in his bag. About three items down on the list I said, "Ok - you need your bible." He immediately said, "What do I need my bible for?" HELLO!!!! This is a CHURCH event!! Where's your brain, child?? I think Morgan was concentrating more on the tubing, rapelling and ropes course part of his trip more than his spiritual development and growth... go figure! So, anyway, I explained to him that he would have bible study and worship time, so he was cool with that. I was thinking,"Boy, we sure do have a LONG way to go..." Sometimes I don't think the nerve endings in his brain exactly connect, but I guess that comes with the territory of having a pre-teen boy. Of course, being first time youth parents, we loaded the whole family in the car to pick him up at church once they got back. The first thing he said was, "That was awesome!" Thank you, Lord! I prayed so hard for Morgan while he was gone. I guess I feel like sometimes that's all I can do. I can feel the "letting go" starting to take place, little by little, and it's quite scary. I realize that I can't control everything he does anymore and that he'll have to find his own way sometimes - whether I want him to or not. So, I pray that God will grab Morgan's heart and not let go. I pray that Morgan will form close friendships with kids from church and that he'll enjoy being there and not another thing I have to "make" him do. I pray that he will love the Lord with all his heart, soul, mind and strength and that he will want to serve him in daily life. Oh, I'm not sure I can handle this whole growing up thing...

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Back from India

The trip went well. As most of you already know, the project was shut down on the first day of the second week due to some problems we had witha local political party in Hyderabad. The instance made 3 newspapers and a broadcast on the local news channel. Everyone was fine and unscathed, but, spiritually and emotionally it was a bit difficult for the first day or two after the incident. Thankfully, the US Embassy called the very next morning to see if we needed any assistance (which we didn't) and we left the country at our appointed time on Friday evening. I am SO glad to be back home with my family! Back to "normal", a routine and just the everyday modern conveniences that the Lord has blessed us with. I love the USA! Anyway, I've spent the last couple of days trying to catch up on chores, "to-do" lists and getting ready for Morgan to start school next Monday. Thank you to everyone who thought about us and prayed for us while I was in India. And a very special "You'll-never-know-how-much-it-means-to-me Thank You" to all of you who entertained my children and my husband or brought food to them while I was away. It was so comforting to know that so many people helped to look after them. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!

Friday, July 18, 2008

One week down, one to go

This is what we look at every day - hundreds or even thousands of children. We teach them songs, do a skit and then share a short message of salvation through God's Son. Here, they are doing the actions with us to one of our songs.


A Muslim woman riding on the back of a motorcyle with her husband. Covered head to toe in a burka. The burka is on top of her normal, everyday clothing in 95 degree weather.


I thought this little girl was adorable and she wanted her picture taken so badly. They were precious and loved to sing!


Here a woman is knocking on the window of our van asking for money. Beggars are everywhere in India and many of them carry children with them, so that they will get more money. I don't know if this is really her baby or not - it's 50/50 chance. Begging is sometimes an industry in India, much like prostitution. People put beggars on the street and then take the money they are given at the end of the day. Of course, I gave her money hoping that she would keep it. The ones with the children just get to me. I don't know what the true situation is, but Jesus tells us to be generous and to take care of the needy.


I left home 9 days ago, 7 more to go before returning. Everyone is doing fine and the trip is going well. I look forward to being back home with my family and eating some good food!!! Here are a few pictures so far...

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Weakness

Well, I've debated about what to blog about...nothing really exciting is happening here. That's okay, the ordinary, every day life is exciting to us and we are quite happy with it. I'm getting ready to leave for India tomorrow. It's a bitter sweet feeling. Of course, I'll miss my family and friends, but I'll have the company of a few other friends and the blessing of sharing Christ with tens of thousands of people. As I was reading my Bible this morning, in my feeble attempt to spend time with God while kids are playing and the TV is blaring Dora, I was reading in Matthew chapter 8 about the two men who were willing to follow Jesus, but not understanding the cost of which to do so. In verse 18, a teacher of the law tells Jesus that he will follow him wherever he goes. You wouldn't think that anything is wrong with that and it's not. But, Jesus' answer implies that the man was probably a little to hasty in his decision, without properly understanding that this wouldn't be an easy task. Jesus replies, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." Next, another follower of Christ said to Jesus, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father." But Jesus told him, "Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead." This comment has perplexed me time and time again. What's really wrong with wanting to give your dead parent a proper burial? Is there really something wrong with that? No, there isn't. But, the problem is that it wasn't the right time. I looked up this verse in Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary of the Bible and he states ever so beautifully,

"This seemed reasonable, yet it was not right. He had not true zeal for the work. Burying the dead, especially a dead father, is a good work, but it is not thy work at this time. If Christ requires our service, affection even for the nearest and dearest relatives, and for things otherwise our duty, must give way."

So, that's why I go to India. People have wondered and asked me before, "Why do you go to India? It must be so hard to leave your family, especially having small children."

Believe me, it is.

I can't tell you how many moments that I'm on the verge of tears, feeling guilty about leaving my family. But, you know what, this is what God has called me to do... right here, right now. It's not convenient, it's not fun, it's not pretty, it's not comfortable, it's not gratifying, it's not my will. But, no matter the reason, no matter the cost, I will go. I'm not trying to sound righteous because I certainly don't feel that I am. Actually, I feel the least qualified, the least equipped, the least ready, the least... the least... the least... everything. But in my weakness, He will be glorified. In my weakness, He makes me strong. In my weakness, only He can do it. In my weakness, others will hear about his saving grace.

1 Corinthians 12: 9-10
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Thursday and Friday, The Peachtree Road Race

Chris and I before the race

Me running - probably around mile 4.


Almost finished! These are the cameramen taking pictures at the end of mile 6.

Chris and I had a blast running the Peachtree this last Friday. First, we went down on Thursday night to the Peachtree Roadrace Expo and walked around for a while. We then went to a nice dinner and stayed in a hotel just down the street from the start of the race. It worked out really well because we woke up Friday morning, ate breakfast and literally walked about 2 blocks to the start of the race. We had to wait about an hour before our heat was allowed to start running. They stagger the heats so that everyone doesn't end up trampling each other. We were in heat 7, so it took a while to get to us. But, that was fine because it gave us time to get our nerves out and go potty. Chris and I ran the first three miles together. The idea was for us to stay together the whole time, but Chris starting getting leg cramps at mile 4 so he said it was okay for me to go on. He caught up with me and we finished the race about a minute apart. There were water stations at every mile marker, people cheering us on and a few bands playing. We really did have a great time and will probably do it again next year. And, yes, we got the coveted t-shirts!









Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Nesting

I'm not pregnant, I assure you, but you would think I am if you came to my house. I've been nesting lately - pretty badly! I want my house clean and for everything to be put in it's proper place. We've also painted and re-done Gavin's room and are now in the process of painting and putting up some new decorations in Ivey's room. Morgan's room is next on the list, but will probably have to wait until I get back from India. I still have more things that I want to do to the house, bookshelves to put up and such, but I'll stretch it out over time. I don't really know why I'm in this weird mode and I'm sure Chris would love for me to get out of it as soon as possible since he does most of the painting after I tape and trim. Oh, well! I'll post pictures of Ivey and Gavin's new rooms as soon as they're finished.

One more day til Peachtree 10K... oh, no!

Monday, June 30, 2008

New favorite thing


My neighbor introduced me to http://www.etsy.com/. Some of you may already know about it, but it as officially become my new favorite thing. The difference between etsy and ebay is that everything sold on etsy is handmade. Everything! My new fascination is with vinyl decals. I have now bought a handful of things. One of them is the family of birds that you see above. I put it above the doorframe in the kitchen. And, since I've decided to start collecting birdhouses to decorate above the cabinets, the birds are the perfect touch! So cute and unique! I've also bought an "S", Gavin's name, some ladybugs and a saying for Ivey's room and something for Morgan's room. It arrives on transfer paper and you rub the decal onto the wall. It looks like it's painted on, yet it comes off when you're ready for a change!! Really cool! I thought I would just share it with you. They have some really awesome things. Just go to the website and search for vinyl decals (add more detail as you like) and you can see all the unique things to decorate your home!
P.S. Shannon, don't buy anything until after your birthday! ;-)

Saturday, June 28, 2008

I'm back from Deeper Still

This was Philips Arena Friday night and Saturday. 19,000 women joining together to hear these phenomenal speakers and to worship our Savior

Kay Arthur, Priscilla Shirer, Beth Moore


The Deeper Still women's conference at Philips Arena this weekend was amazing!! God has gifted Kay Arthur, Beth Moore and Priscilla Shirer with such amazing abilities to teach the word of God and to write bible studies and books that we all want to read. They are hysterically funny, articulate and have an uncanny ability to teach scripture. But, they were the first to say that we (as Christians) shouldn't look to them for some sort of spiritual insight, bible knowledge or word from God that, for some reason, we think we can't get for ourselves. They were the first to say that we should go directly to the Bible ourselves to hear from God and to understand his truth. God is available to each of us just the same as he is to them. It's so important for them to make that point clear in an audience of 19,000 women because bible teachers can become idols or gods in our lives without us even realizing it. We must spend time on our own alone with God, digging deeper into the Word of God and praying for discernment and wisdom. Priscilla Shirer said something this weekend that really struck a chord with me. I wrote it down and will probably always remember it. She said, "Discernment is not knowing the difference between right and wrong. Discernment is knowing the difference between right and almost right. See, this is the thing... Satan knows scripture, too. But he uses it out of context and in ways that confuse us. We think, "Well, this book has scripture in it or this person is quoting scripture, so it must be okay." Not so! Does the book or the person's statements line up with biblical truth? Are they consistent with God's character? And, how else would we know other than to study the Bible and know it for ourselves. That's the difference. So, anyway, it was an absolutely awesome weekend! I'm so glad I was able to go! It was such a time of revival in my life at just the right time. It was a time of remembering what God has done in me and through me and for me, and thanking him and praising him for that. And, not only praising God the Father, but praising and worshiping his Son, Jesus Christ, God in the flesh. Jesus is the one and only way and he is MY One and Only.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

2 more weeks


So, I guess I was trying not to think about it... but, my pastor emailed me today to make sure my passport and visa is up to date. I leave for India very soon (I don't want to post the exact dates for security reasons). The sharing of our faith is not against the law in India, but it is strongly discouraged among some of the militant Muslim groups there. Also, since we will be farther north this year, we will probably be facing a little bit more resistence than I've seen on past trips. I have to say that I'm not as nervous as I have been the last two times I went. Part of that is due to the fact that I don't have the fear of the unknown anymore and because my precious little ones are big enough to actually talk to me on the phone while I'm away. Also, I trust my pastor with my life and know that he would do everything in his power to protect me if that's what it came down to. Last year, I made Chris video tape me reading books to the kids so they could watch the movie at night and remember what I looked like. Crazy, I know! But, the thought of "What if I don't make it back?" is always in the back of my mind. I'm trying very hard not to let Satan discourage me or scare me with the "What-ifs." We have a very reliable young lady coming to stay with the kids during the day while Chris is at work, not to mention all the help from great friends and family. Everything will be OK.
So what exactly will I be doing in India? Our team will meet up with a team from Dallas, TX in the Frankfurt, Germany airport. From there we will all travel to India to meet up with a group of Indian bible teachers, missionaries and college students. We will divide into three teams once we reach our destination. Each team will have a set schedule for the week with about 3-4 schools to visit each day. While in the schools, we will do a drama, sing and give a short presentation of the Truth. Three to four schools may not sound like a lot, but there aren't schools on every other street corner, so sometimes a bit of travelling is involved. Please pray for us and for our families while we are away. There will be a total of 9 Americans on the trip and we would all like to make it safely back home. Thanks!

Wow... of all my friends and family who are Christians and no one wants to share their testimony... who's going to be the salt and the light?

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Cardboard Testimonies

My friend, Paula, sent me this link to one of the most awesome video clips on YouTube that I've ever seen. I want to share it with you. She sent it to me several weeks ago and I'm still thinking about it. These are one sentence testimonies that are true to those who wrote them. Check it out and make sure the volume on your computer is turned up. It truly is awesome and proves that God can save ANYBODY!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvDDc5RB6FQ
(If it doesn't work when you click on the link, you may have to copy and paste it.)

My cardboard testimony:

Looked for love in all the wrong places, Found Jesus who loves me like no other

If you'd like to share your cardboard testimony, please post it in the comments section. I'd love to share them on a blog once we get several back. Let's not be ashamed of what God has done in our lives. God is real! Jesus is real! And He changes lives!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Deeper Still

Me, Teri, Beth and Shannon (yes, mom, I know that's not correct grammar) are going to the Deeper Still conference this weekend at Philips Arena. I am so excited!! The speakers are going to be Beth Moore, Kay Arthur and Priscilla Shirer. I am looking forward to learning more about God this weekend and just getting a breath of fresh air. God has used each of these ladies in an incredible way in ministering to other women and this will be the first time that I've seen Beth Moore and Kay Arthur in person. It'll be a time to relax, have fun with some friends and spend learning scripture. Most of all, I'm excited to see what God is going to teach ME!

The rest of the summer is going to fly by for me. Chris and I are running the Peachtree 10K next week and then the following week is when I leave for India. I'll share more about that as it gets closer, but please pray for me in the mean time. India is a very difficult place to be and to minister. God ALWAYS stretches me when I'm there and sometimes that's not so fun. I get homesick the minute I step on the plane - knowing that my husband and babies will be without me for so long. And, of course, Satan always throws the "what-ifs" in there - as if I need something else to worry about. But, I know that God has said that I am not to worry. I need to focus on him and trust in him. His plan is not my plan. If God feeds and cares for the birds of the air, how much more does he care for me!

"Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to unto you."

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Very busy week

We had a very busy week with VBS and other projects we were doing around the house. We took Gavin out of his crib and put him in his "big boy" bed this week. The furniture is very light colored - as is the walls - so of course I had to paint!! We also rearranged our office so that Chris can have his computer stuff and I can have my embroidery stuff in there. The basement was getting awfully lonely... :-) Anyway, with all of our projects plus just normal life we are very tired tonight.

Ivey asked me a very interesting question today. She asks me stuff all the time that I'm just amazed at. At her age, she's very curious about dying and heaven. Today, this was our conversation:

Ivey: Mommy, how do our bodies get to heaven when we die?
Me: (As usual, I pause for a moment to get my wits about me before answering her question.) "Well, we have a thing called a soul inside of us. It gives us our personality, makes us funny, makes us laugh. When we die, our soul leaves our body and goes to heaven. (All the while I'm thinking that I'm giving a half biblical answer, picturing Patrick Swayze's soul leaving his body in the movie Ghost.)
Ivey: Well, does our soul walk to heaven?
Me: I don't know. Maybe it flies to heaven.
Ivey: Well, who comes to pick them up so they can fly?

The conversation pretty much died off here. Sometimes, I don't even know how to answer her questions. I try to answer them the best I can so that she can understand, but some times, it's about something that I really don't understand myself. How DOES our soul go to heaven after we die? I think mine will run.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Vacation Bible School


The kids have had a wonderful time at VBS this week as have I. I've been teaching with Laura in the missions class and have loved it! I love being able to see all the kids every day instead of just a few. The songs this year are really catchy, too, and lots of fun to sing and dance to. Ivey and Gavin are able to go this year since I'm working in VBS. Ivey's class actually gets to rotate and do music, crafts, snack, etc. She has different music for preschool, so it's fun to watch her sing her songs and do the motions. Morgan is having a good time, too. This will be his last year as an attender of VBS - next year he'll be a youth helper. Scary isn't it??